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Monday, March 20, 2017

Book Review - Don't: How Using the Right Words Will Change Your Life by Bob Selden

Book Review
Don't: How Using the Right Words Will Change Your Life
by Bob Selden

About the book
How using the right words will positively impact your life.

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to have all the luck? Bob Selden's new book "Don't" shows you how words impact those parts of the brain that make you either positive or negative. People who have a more positive outlook use more positive language. They see opportunities that others miss – they also generally see how these opportunities can be turned into real advantages.

* "Don't" sets out those negative words and phrases to avoid – the ones that create negative thinking in your brain and result in negative behaviour – and then suggests some words and phrases that do just the opposite. The end result? You will start to use positive words, which activate the positive parts of your brain which then results in positive behaviour.

* "Don't" will also enable you to better manage those difficult conversations that all of us have at some point. Sometimes it's a conversation we initiate, such as going to a job interview, at other times it's initiated by someone else, such as when a good friend wants help with a deep problem.

Bob Selden will challenge some of your thinking on what makes some people more successful than others – Is it luck? Upbringing? Opportunity? Or is it perhaps the words we use? Read his new book "Don't" and make the call!

Available at....

Our Book Review
The success of any book is while you are reading or discussing it with others, it gains their interest in the subject matter and they actually go out and buy it, which is what has happened with this particular book.

While I was reading the book and incorporating the ideas and concepts the author was promoting people around me noticed the change in my language and attitude that I had adopted and wondered where it had come from.  Particularly that I was using a lot of positivity and different lines of questioning to check for understanding and explanations. This was all down to reading this excellent novel which points out how we can improve communication by changing simple things.

For example when I returned home one night after a stressful day an argument was going to ensue between myself and my wife, using a technique from the book I started to question my wife "AND why do you feel like that?" This took her by surprise and made her laugh thus proving the technique works.

As I said the proof is in the pudding, in sales and interests, and I know of two people (in a management level) in my work place who have purchased this book after reading the first couple of chapters.

Useful exercises at the end of each chapter reinforce the instructions from the author and lessons we can do over and over again to not only improve ourselves but others as well.

Reading this book will make and hopefully change the way you communicate, act, and respond to anyone you come into contact with.
Our Rating

Author interviewed by a panel on a Sydney TV show called “Studio 10” 

About the author
I call myself a student of behaviour. I believe that the words and language we use not only impact our relationships with others, but also the way in which we behave. Recent research tends to support this belief. For example, studies at the Universities of Heidelberg, Neuchatel and Zurich (2007) show that when young male drivers hear male type words (such as "tough" and "rough") they automatically increase their speed, whilst hearing female type words (such as "pink" and "gentle") leads to a reduction in their speed. My question, "Can the words a manager uses also impact both his or her people relationships and behaviour?" 

As an author on management, I have not only studied the subject, but have lived the role. I survived my first new manager's role in banking to eventually develop into a senior manager responsible for the career development of hundreds of other managers. During this growing process, and later as an organisational development consultant, trainer and coach, I learnt what works and what doesn't work when managing others. So, I've recently published a new book "What To Do When You Become The Boss" which is a result of this learning. My determination is to help other new managers during their initial growth spurt.

I'm an Australian currently living in Sydney. As well as consulting to various organisations on five continents, I have coached on the Mobilizing People program at the International Institute for Management Development in Lausanne, Switzerland (whre I lived for seven years). 

I'm married with three children. I'm a keen cyclist and love getting out and about in the hills around home.

I'd like to challenge some of your thinking on leadership and management development and would appreciate your feedback - please contact me at or

My book "What To Do When You Become The Boss" was a finalist in the INDIE Book Awards of 2008. Recently, Business Executive Magazine described it as "One of the best books on management that we have seen in a long time." It's now reached sales of over 55,000 and been published in four languages.

I've recently released my new book "Don't: How using the right words will change your life". It's a book about how our words impact our behaviour, and ultimately self-image and personality.

I look forward to your comments, reviews and questions.

Bob Selden -

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Sharon Martin
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  1. This book could help me so much. I'm sure many others also. Talking positively changes a mood, a conversation, an attitude. I'm so glad I read this today. Thank-you!

  2. Being positive is usually the best solution no matter what you are talking about. I know I will usually react positively to positive statements while tuning out negative ones!


Always lovely to hear your comments xx

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