This Christmas, give the gift that keeps on
giving—Eternal Bliss.
Yes,
Enlightenment for Nitwits: The Complete
Guide to 2012 & Beyond! is on sale.
It's perfectly timed to give to those who wondered if they'd be ascending (or
dead) on December 21st and therefore didn't buy you anything. Won't they feel
like nitwits, especially when they find this in their
stocking?
But there are other reasons to
give this book to everyone on your list. One is that if enough people read it
(144,000, give or take), the world will be transformed into a place where you
always find a parking space and you're rich and good-looking (not that you
aren't already). Another is that not only will you help save humanity, you'll
also save a bundle. Jesus saves, and you can, too!
That's right, for a limited time, you can
buy Enlightenment for
Nitwits for only $9.95, $5 off the
already-bargain price of $14.95, including shipping. If you've been meaning to
get enlightened but have been putting it off because you don't like Indian food,
now's your chance. Just visit this web page:
It will turn your Black Friday
into Light Now, and will make a wonderful gift for anyone who loves to laugh:
Christians, Muslims, Jews, Shintos, Republicans, Libertarians, Democrats,
Tories, Moms and Dads, Aunt Mildred, Indigo Children, Crystal Children, Children
in the Gifted and Talented Program, juvenile delinquents with multiple piercings
and tattoos, ex-cons, and everybody else on your Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa
list. Why deal with all the pushing, shoving, and fatalities to get that moose
sweater? We consulted Sylvia Browne, and she said that Grandpa will like
Enlightenment for Nitwits much more.
To meet the high demand, we regret
that we must restrict individual orders to no more than 1,000 copies at this
special price. But feel free to forward this important message to all your
Facebook, email, and Twitter Friends—Friends don't let friends not get
enlightened.
To read excerpts and more, go
to:
May your holidays be full of the
joy of omniscience and omni-presents.
Sincerely,
The staff at Summerjoy
Press
"I love Enlightenment for Nitwits! It is the funniest book I have read in several decades. If laughter leads to enlightenment, it will certainly do it. Nothing-thank God-is sacred in this delightful spoof on life in general."
— C. Norman Shealy, M.D., author of Life Beyond 100
"HOLY WOW!!!!!! Super duper fun stuffffffffff. Great job!"
— James Wanless, creator of Voyager Tarot
"Enlightenment for Nitwits is full of priceless gems. It a great read, hugely entertaining, laugh-out-loud funny, but salted with sharp observations about the way we live now, the foibles and excesses of our society."
— Elizabeth Puttick, Ph.D, author of 7 Personality Types
"Great book. Totally brilliant! We are reading it to each other and cracking up loudly. The house is ringing with laughter."
— Scott Grace, author of Teach Me How to Lov e
"There's never a dull moment in Hoodwin's walk through spirituality!"
— Midwest Book Review
"Heck of a job, Hoodie! Of course, I didn't need this book because I was already enlightened, but I'm sure it will help a lot of other people."
— George W. Bush, former owner, Texas Rangers
"Thousands of candles can be lit from this single book. But read it first."
— The Buddha, inventor of enlightenment
"Wickedly funny. Something to offend everyone!"
— Satan, Prince of Darkness and leading cable news producer
"We are not amused. However, Prince Harry laughed his arse off."
— Her Royal Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
"Funniest book in the last two billion years! Frankly, I enjoyed it more than the Bible."
— God, Creator of the Universe
Sharon x
http://www.beckvalleybooks.co.uk
http://www.beckvalleybooks.blogspot.com
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